Once upon a time, I did everything by myself. Then I had a team. Then I got dropped from the deal that gave me a team. Then I did everything by myself again.
*Disclaimer: For my last 2 projects, I outsourced the creation of my cover art. I reached my limit and I believe in paying real artists.
From the very moment I decide to share my art with the world, I’m virtually on my own. I have to complete the songs, name them and sequence them if it’s an album or EP. I have to mix them. I have to fumble my way through using the Ozone 9 mastering plugin. I have to upload to my distributor. I have to create a strategy for how I’m going to tell people about what I made. Any part of the process that requires money, comes from my pockets. This is not some long winded way of making anyone feel sorry for me, but I've gotta be real with y’all.
The whole setup is kind of stressful. It’s mentally and sometimes emotionally draining juggling everything I want to do with everything I have to do. Being that I’m a team of one, all that extra stress and pressure comes from within. There’s literally no one rushing me to release. I’m not contractually obligated to do anything. I just love to make music and share it with people. I would probably bust at the seams if i didn’t get to show someone the cool thing I made. So I create timelines and plans and hold myself accountable to actually release things. Things that are truly representative of my ability and vision.
It may be really unsustainable for me in the long run, but I guess I hang on to the idea that it’s worth it. The ROI is piss poor on paper, but if just one person resonates with or enjoys something I created then all my long days and late nights paid off. If I keep reaching 1 person and then 2 people and 3 and so on, I actually feel more settled into my purpose.
As I continue to reach people, especially ones who are willing to spread the good word about me or drop a motivating string of emojis in my comment section , the load starts to feel lighter. I remember that I can breathe and reach into the farthest corners of my creativity. I can refocus on the joy music brings me. I can make room to learn new skills and grow into my potential as an artist. I can be my silly, goofy, nutty self. I can let my imagination run wild, for the sake of release and nothing else.
So there you have it, operating in mono can be draining and difficult. It can feel nebulous. Hell it can feel stupid. It can also be rewarding and joyous and help you tap into the stuff you didn’t even know was in you.
to be continued…
peace from the tower